Confidence Crisis for Indian Kids Raised in US

Someone shared a story that goes beyond the usual “culture shock” discussions. She grew up in India feeling confident, beautiful, and truly seen—not just by her family, but by her friends and boys too. That feeling of being noticed was almost second nature to her.

But everything changed when she moved to the U.S. Suddenly, the world felt different. It wasn’t just about fitting in; it was about how she was perceived. In classrooms and social circles filled with white kids, where the standard of beauty often seems narrow and exclusive, she began to feel invisible, less attractive, and uncertain.

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What’s particularly striking is the impact of colorism—not just as a distant concept, but as a real experience. She noticed that white guys were mostly interested in white girls. Even Indian guys, who share her background, often leaned towards lighter-skinned girls.

This isn’t merely a social preference; it reflects deeper biases that subtly, and often painfully, shape attraction and a sense of belonging.

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This raises a tough question: For Indian kids born or raised in America, does growing up among white peers affect their self-worth? Would being raised in India, where their looks are more “normal,” help maintain or boost their confidence?

It’s not a straightforward answer. Growing up in India provides a familiar cultural reflection, but it also comes with its own pressures and beauty standards. On the other hand, growing up in the U.S. might expose kids to more diversity and opportunities, but it also presents a very visible, sometimes harsh racial hierarchy.

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For parents, it’s about figuring out which environment best nurtures identity, pride, and self-love. How do you prepare kids for a world that judges them differently based on skin color and cultural background? How can you ensure they see themselves as beautiful and worthy—not just in their family’s eyes, but in their own?




This story isn’t just about feeling pretty. It’s about belonging. It’s about whether the culture you grow up in affirms your identity or challenges it daily—and what that means for confidence that lasts a lifetime.